Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
