You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
