So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
