And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
