4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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