Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
