i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
