i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
