if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
