I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
