So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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