Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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