so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
