should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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