I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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