I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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