There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
