sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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