You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
