what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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