How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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