We need to rekindle our bromance
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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