U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
