just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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