Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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