Where did you get a picture of my penis
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
