You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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