I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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