just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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