Plan B is the new Plan A
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
