dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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