Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
