dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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