The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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