dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So many bounce houses so little time
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
