So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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