I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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