Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
