Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
