help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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