u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
