Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
