What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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