Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
