Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
A+ Viking dick
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
