Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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