sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
