I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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