i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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