i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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