I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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