Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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