I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
