I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
