He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
